1 00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,769 ♪ It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:08,240 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,643 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:14,880 ♪ On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:18,217 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:21,352 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do 7 00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:23,021 ♪ All the things that make us 8 00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,956 ♪ Laugh and cry 9 00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:29,928 ♪ He's a family guy ♪ 10 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,013 Okay. I call. What do you got? 11 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,871 Boom. Full house, jokers over instruction cards. 12 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:43,642 I do not enjoy playing with you. Everything's so silly. 13 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,477 You guys, you'll never guess what. 14 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:48,947 Randy Jackson was just a big sea turtle in human clothes, we heard. 15 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,516 No, we all just booked a vacation together 16 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,986 to a private resort in the Bahamas. 17 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,565 Well, that's a lot of my money, 18 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,033 but I used to have sex with you, 19 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,490 so that's the trade-off. 20 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,658 Look, it's not as expensive as it sounds. 21 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,561 We found a great group rate on a discount website. 22 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:06,509 Wow, the Bahamas. I can't wait to get down there 23 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,566 and dip my fingers in the water. 24 00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,813 Yeah, it'll be awesome to nail a hotel masseuse 25 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:14,017 and then watch Nanny McPhee in the room. So, when do we leave? 26 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,108 Oh. Sorry, Glenn. 27 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:19,778 The deal was for couples only. I'm afraid you can't come. 28 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:22,114 All right, fine. Since you'll all be gone, 29 00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:23,960 I'll just walk around my yard naked, 30 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,104 pee anywhere I want. I don't care. 31 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:34,304 I think it's great that Peter and Lois are getting away together. 32 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,906 Yeah, I think Dad's actually kind of excited about it. 33 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,742 Yes, very. He even bought some sort of language tapes, 34 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,978 although I don't think he's using them properly. 35 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,846 I would like to hear the specials. 36 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,340 I would like to hear the specials. 37 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:49,986 Where is the Eiffel Tower? 38 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,223 I would rather hear the specials. 39 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,528 I'm sorry I'm late. I shoved an employee 40 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,452 at Wendy's and they called the cops. 41 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,355 You gotta warn somebody before you hand him a square burger. 42 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,935 Thanks again for watching the kids while we're gone, Daddy. 43 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,704 Yeah, but how come Babs couldn't come? 44 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:10,962 Oh, she wanted to be here, but she got hired to be the stuffy old woman 45 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,965 who slowly comes around to it in a rap video. 46 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:17,169 I'm so glad the times are not changing. 47 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:21,117 ♪ You a bitch and a ho and a ho and a bitch ♪ 48 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,609 My garden party has been ruined. 49 00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:28,380 But I'm beginning to tap my foot. 50 00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:33,751 All right, I know most of you haven't traveled with me, 51 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,665 but get ready to see a lot of airport elevators 52 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,422 you didn't know existed. 53 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:40,736 Hey, guys. Say, Lois, I know you said this trip was couples only, 54 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,672 but great news. We're now a couple! 55 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,596 Oh. Who's this? 56 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:47,377 This is Kimmie. I met her in a pop-up window on the internet. 57 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:48,667 She was in my area. 58 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,146 Hi. Peter Griffin, all but separated. 59 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,469 Oh, right on. 60 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,983 All right. Well, I suppose I could look into 61 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,918 adding you two to the reservation. 62 00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:57,642 Yeah, you guys should definitely come. 63 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,344 Yeah, this is gonna be awesome. 64 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:02,146 Relax, Peter. I haven't seen you this excited 65 00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:05,817 since you got that letter sent by carrier owl. 66 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,398 Oh, my God. Is this my acceptance to Hogwarts? 67 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:11,856 No. It's a letter asking you to stop throwing rocks at my nest. 68 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,426 You hit one of my kids, and now he can't fly right. 69 00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:17,507 Well, fine. Then I'll just throw rocks at the hornets. 70 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,000 He told me to do it! 71 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,107 And thus began the Thousand Year War 72 00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:31,410 between the avians and the insects. 73 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:34,045 It was a brutal war. It was a bitter war. 74 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:37,749 And most importantly, it was a visually spectacular war. 75 00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:38,883 Attack! 76 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,386 Charge! 77 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,404 Sorry. I'm being told this would be very expensive to animate. 78 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,362 So instead, here's some stock footage 79 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,341 of an old plane trying to take off. 80 00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:58,537 They didn't have enough wings. 81 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,390 Oh, my God. This place is gorgeous! 82 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:21,693 Yeah, I can't wait to puke up a club sandwich in the pool. 83 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,073 Hello, couples. My name is Noel, 84 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,177 and welcome to Pleasant Surroundings. 85 00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,048 Something about black people wearing 86 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:35,874 all white clothes. It's very peaceful. 87 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,910 We have a special beach barbecue planned for you tonight, 88 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,925 but in the meantime, please enjoy all our amenities. 89 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,514 We will. 90 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,694 Come on, girls, let's go wear big, floppy sun hats in the pool 91 00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:47,630 and then be mad when they get wet. 92 00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,499 Yeah. I'm gonna hit the pool soon, myself. 93 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,257 Gotta let the lifeguard know he better keep an eye on me. 94 00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:59,564 I'm here a whole week, pal. 95 00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:08,224 Hey, Brian, check it out, hotornot.com. 96 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:10,153 - 10. - One. 97 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:11,876 - 10. - One. 98 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,456 - Five. - Five. 99 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,181 Hey, I just made black coffee in an old tin pan. 100 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:18,883 Who wants some? No one? 101 00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:22,687 What's wrong with you people? Dick Fosbury won an Olympics on this. 102 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,300 Well, say, this is pretty neat. 103 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,370 I brought you kids an old seed packet I found in my garage. 104 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,171 I know what you got your fingers crossed for 105 00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:30,895 and yes, they're persimmons. 106 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,732 All right, that's it! 107 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,569 Damn it. I tried two things that all kids love, 108 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,371 coffee and old seed packets. 109 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:42,306 And all any of you can do is stare at those Game Boy machines! 110 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:46,478 I'm sick of it! In fact, for the rest of the week, no more screens. 111 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:47,747 I'm locking those things up. 112 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:48,958 Wait, you what? 113 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,326 Oh, come on, what the hell? 114 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,583 Oh, but what... 115 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,262 That's right, I'm gonna show you kids 116 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,831 how to have fun the old-fashioned way, 117 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,299 like I did when I was a kid. 118 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:58,322 But I can't live without my laptop. 119 00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,069 How else am I supposed to get my degree 120 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,893 from the University of Phoenix? 121 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:07,065 Credit card information. And submit. And I'm a lawyer. 122 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:10,902 We find the defendant guilty of murder. Sorry. 123 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,210 Oh, hey, you guys. 124 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,590 Uh, Quagmire, I don't think you can go to dinner in your swimsuit. 125 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:22,992 And what the hell happened to you? 126 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,050 Oh, Kimmie and I fell asleep on the beach. 127 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,130 Yeah, I think you better change. 128 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,274 Okay, we'll be down in a minute. 129 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,435 Welcome, everyone. I hope you enjoyed your afternoon, 130 00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:35,627 but now it's time to get to work. 131 00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:37,629 On the rippin' and the tearin'? 132 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:41,299 Even better. We're going to work on your relationships. 133 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,379 After all, this isn't just a vacation, 134 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,670 it's a couples counseling retreat. 135 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,205 Oh, what the hell? 136 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:50,976 Sorry, Peter. We had to trick you guys or you wouldn't have come. 137 00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,411 No. You can't make me. I'll get hit with a coconut, 138 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,313 so I lose my memory of this. 139 00:06:57,251 --> 00:07:00,852 I remember everything! I was abused by my dad! 140 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,860 Lois, I can't believe you tricked us into 141 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,896 coming on a couples counseling retreat. 142 00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:13,631 I do not like being lied to! 143 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,860 Me neither. I mean, wives conspiring against their husbands. 144 00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,103 What's next, huh? Freakin' Cheney 145 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,306 back in the White House? 146 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,208 Hmm, that didn't link up. 147 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,321 Trust me, you won't regret this. 148 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:28,713 I'll see you all in the morning for our first session. 149 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,549 Sheesh, couples counseling? 150 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:33,251 This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone. 151 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,988 Wives, huh? He gets it. 152 00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:45,497 Hey there, buckaroos! Who's ready for some old-timey fun? 153 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:48,711 I thought we could go down to the old swimmin' hole and swim in a hole. 154 00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,447 Ugh. That sounds lame. 155 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:53,104 Whose hole is it? I'm potentially in. 156 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,473 Grandpa, can I just have my video games back? 157 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,275 I want to play Call of Duty. 158 00:07:57,344 --> 00:08:00,323 Oh, I've got the original Call of Duty right here. 159 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,013 It's called jacks. 160 00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:06,884 Got one! Will I get two? Come get in on this. 161 00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,421 Wait, this game is cleaning up toys? 162 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,434 Carter, read the room. They're not into it. 163 00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,924 All right, fair enough. 164 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,972 I just don't want you kids sitting around here, glued to your screens. 165 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,797 So let's get the blood pumping with my Jack LaLanne record. 166 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:26,471 Bend to the left. Bend to the right. 167 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,774 Get the big spring. Stretch the big spring. 168 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:33,211 Stop to smoke. Get a big towel. 169 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,848 Put it behind your neck. Tuck it in your shirt. 170 00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:40,285 Looks like boobs. Put on a wig. 171 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:43,821 Dance with a man. Don't tell your wife. 172 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:46,090 Take it to your grave. 173 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,614 Okay, good workout. I gotta go call somebody and hang up. 174 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:58,904 All right. Our first counseling exercise will be speaking to each other 175 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:02,440 with "I feel" statements. Lois, please begin. 176 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:08,246 I feel unappreciated, like you don't want to spend time with me. 177 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:11,850 Okay. I feel a numbness radiating down my left arm. 178 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:15,198 I feel like you should help out more around the house. 179 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:19,824 I feel like salty and sweet. You got white chocolate french fries? 180 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,771 I feel like my cervix hurts. 181 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,394 I feel pride. 182 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:31,035 Okay. For our next exercise, let's play The Oldlywed Game. 183 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:33,004 Relax, it's just a questionnaire. 184 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,943 Really? Whatever. I like liking things. 185 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,145 Peter, when is Lois's birthday? 186 00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,180 Uh, let's see. When is Hitler's birthday? 187 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,381 April 20th. 188 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:46,150 Wow. Okay, Noel. Yikes. 189 00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,386 Joe, what is Bonnie's favorite food? 190 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:50,199 Well, she must like ground glass, 191 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,968 because I keep finding it in my food. 192 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,636 Cleveland. Pass. 193 00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,094 Quagmire, what color are Kimmie's eyes? 194 00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:59,230 Shaved. Sorry, what... What is it? What's the question? 195 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,416 Okay. Last night I did some personality assessments 196 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,085 based on yesterday's session, 197 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,953 and what I found was none of you couples 198 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,644 are compatible with each other at all. 199 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,761 No, no, no, that's not a good thing. 200 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,986 But, interestingly, you have high compatibility 201 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,732 with other people in this group. 202 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,589 Oh, my God. That is crazy! 203 00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,535 More mac and cheese. Here, just keep it going. 204 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,204 Keep it going. Don't be afraid of the burned edges. 205 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,228 Just give me the tray. Wait, so what happened? 206 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,274 Anyway, I'd like to do an exercise. 207 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,077 Just for the morning, you'll all be paired 208 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,812 with your more compatible match. 209 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,614 And hopefully, you'll bring some lessons back from that experience, 210 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,104 into your marriages. 211 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:43,074 Okay. So the new couple pairings are as follows. 212 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,475 Cleveland and Lois. 213 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:48,012 Oh, cool! My FICO score just went up 100 points. 214 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:52,684 Quagmire and Bonnie. Joe and Donna. And Peter and Kimmie. 215 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:55,253 Yay! I win couples counseling! 216 00:11:01,395 --> 00:11:04,929 Look at those hairless shins. They're magnificent. 217 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,942 Decades of black dress socks have 218 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,944 rendered them smooth and mirror-like. 219 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:11,213 Grandpa, what are we even doing out here? 220 00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,137 Looking for shapes in the clouds. 221 00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:16,106 That one looks like the Thompson Throat Lozenge girl. See? 222 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,775 She's got the boater on and everything! 223 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:20,244 I'm bored. Can't we do something else? 224 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,046 Well, back when I was your age, 225 00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:23,826 there was nothing better than knocking on doors 226 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,517 and throwing paper bags full of flour at people. 227 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:27,652 That's a thing? 228 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,921 What, flour facin'? It's the best thing! 229 00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:33,390 We used it to keep Italians from going to the polls. 230 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,662 Stay home today, Guido! 231 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,868 Yay! Old-fashioned things are the best! 232 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:53,878 ♪ Every girl wants you to be her man 233 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:58,716 ♪ But I'll wait, my dear, till it's my turn 234 00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:05,924 ♪ I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that 235 00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,592 ♪ Oh, no 236 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:13,564 ♪ The tide is high but I'm holding on 237 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:18,469 ♪ I'm gonna be your number one 238 00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:23,641 ♪ Number one 239 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:27,912 ♪ Number one ♪ 240 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,050 So, this is the second vacation 241 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,218 that I've watched every Jurassic Park. 242 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,988 Peter, you're awesome. You're so funny. 243 00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,957 Hey, Kimmie, I'll pay you $1,000 244 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:40,891 for one whole handful of your butt. 245 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:42,660 For two handfuls, I'll give you my car. 246 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:45,696 All right, that's enough! I have had it, Peter! 247 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,631 So, how are the new pairings working out? 248 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,467 Are you all gaining lots of insights? 249 00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:53,204 No! I can see now that coming here was a huge mistake! 250 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,206 You're hopeless, Peter! 251 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,774 Your feet look old. 252 00:12:56,843 --> 00:13:01,045 This retreat is over! Fire up the boat. We're going home! 253 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,482 Mrs. Griffin, please. 254 00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,296 I urge you to finish the program. 255 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:11,456 No, thank you. I never should've come here. Or, at least, not with him. 256 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:13,045 Is there anything I can do to change... 257 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,065 Oh, my God! 258 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,045 We're taking this island back. 259 00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:26,070 Yeah! Kill the whites! Race war! 260 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:30,007 Run! Everybody run! 261 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,264 What the hell is happening? 262 00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:43,854 Somebody do something! 263 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:49,460 Look! We gotta get the attention of that plane! 264 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,272 You gotta help us! 265 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:11,182 Man, those natives are pissed. This is like a full-blown revolution! 266 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,062 Do you think me throwing full sodas 267 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,886 into the garbage had anything to do with this? 268 00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,891 Quick! Into the jungle! 269 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,898 What are we gonna do? 270 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:29,100 Wait a minute. Yesterday, near the north beach, 271 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:31,102 I saw a small landing strip, giggity. 272 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:34,038 It might be our best chance to get off, giggity, the island. 273 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,641 Did you really see that, or was it just an excuse to say "giggity"? 274 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,712 I don't know, baby. I'm crazy with the heat. Take your pants off. 275 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:44,415 Oh, my God, this is legit ridic. I gotta post this. 276 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:48,119 Josh Radnor's Twitter feed is so funny! 277 00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,720 That's impossible. 278 00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,488 Coming here was a bad idea. 279 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,370 Like when I brought museum behavior into my home. 280 00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:04,408 Excuse me. We do ask that you don't touch anything. 281 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,722 I gotta say, Carter, you've done a good job. 282 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,891 We'd become slaves to our electronics. 283 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:19,283 But you know what we're doing here? We're reclaiming our lives. 284 00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:21,191 You're kind of an egghead, aren't you, Brian? 285 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,622 Everyone on this plane is wearing a suit. 286 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:27,925 Say, that reminds me. Everyone, time to dress for dinner. 287 00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:30,238 Ooh, I want to light the candles, Pop-Pop! 288 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,174 Oh, boy. I haven't had this much fun 289 00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:34,398 since I played with that Buble wrap. 290 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,478 ♪ I just haven't met you yet 291 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,071 Oh, cool! 292 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,951 ♪ Your mom thinks of me 293 00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,407 ♪ When she's doing your dad ♪ 294 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:44,542 What? 295 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,645 ♪ Seriously, I drive older women nuts 296 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:51,049 ♪ I can make your mom and aunt kiss ♪ 297 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,751 This is a very skeevy packing product. 298 00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:59,323 Oh, my God. This is bad. 299 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:02,660 I know. If we die, what's gonna happen to my mail? 300 00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,173 What? I'm just saying, 301 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,308 how's the post office supposed to know? 302 00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,732 And my DVR! It'll be full in a week! 303 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:12,803 I record Ellen every day! I know I shouldn't, but whenever she dances, 304 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:16,307 I'm like, "Go ahead, girl, it's your world!" 305 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,421 I heard she gay. 306 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,145 Well, it seems like we're pretty talked out. 307 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:26,584 Thanks for changing your mind about drowning me in that river. 308 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:35,193 Hey. Did you see those pictures of me doing duck lips by a pool? 309 00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:37,361 I don't know, some island. 310 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,197 Shh. 311 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,600 You rebel scum! 312 00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:46,303 Ah, you're too young. You don't know. 313 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,256 So, how did you guys get captured? 314 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,381 Quagmire screams when he urinates. How about you? 315 00:16:57,450 --> 00:17:00,351 Cleveland kept stopping to scratch his back on trees. 316 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,052 Lois don't do it right. 317 00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:05,401 Come here, baby. You need them Lee Press-Ons. 318 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:08,292 Mmm. There it is. Mmm. 319 00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:14,176 Oh, Peter! I was so worried about you. 320 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,434 Lois, when we got captured, I said, 321 00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,703 "You rebel scum," and Kimmie didn't get it. 322 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,872 That's funny! From the Star Wars! 323 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:25,509 Well, just Star Wars. But I missed you, sweetheart! 324 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,477 Why are you doing this? Let us go! 325 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,514 Every year we have to deal with you American tourists! 326 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:34,085 Stuffing your slob faces, taking video you'll never watch, 327 00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:38,756 and asking if I'm the Captain Phillips guy. I'm not! 328 00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:42,093 Take the couples out, two by two, and execute them. 329 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,798 Oh, my God! 330 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:51,369 Well, at least I ain't going out with a itchy back. 331 00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,807 Oh, no! This is terrible! 332 00:17:56,876 --> 00:18:00,811 Now, now. Maybe they just shot Donna twice. 333 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,448 Bonnie, quick, lock my wheels! We don't have to make it easy for them! 334 00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,828 Scuffing up those floors pretty good! 335 00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,261 Boy, they're really going at Donna. 336 00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,932 Any last words? 337 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,366 Moist. 338 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:31,108 Oh, Peter, I'm so sorry I lied to get you to come here. 339 00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:34,678 I should've been honest with you. Please forgive me? 340 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,825 I do, Lois. I know you were just trying 341 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,815 to do something good for our marriage. 342 00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:42,053 And I'm sorry I've been such a jerk about it. 343 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,621 I need you, Lois. I always will. 344 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:47,136 And if I gotta get shot by ooga-booga people, 345 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,000 I want it to happen with you. 346 00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,661 Oh, Peter. 347 00:18:56,568 --> 00:18:58,635 I love you so much, Lois. 348 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,705 I love you, too, Peter. 349 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:03,106 Lois, I think you should know, 350 00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:05,443 I never cared for your most recent haircut. 351 00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:08,223 Peter, I've had the same haircut for 20 years. 352 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:09,247 We're ready now. 353 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,189 Congratulations, Griffins. You did it! 354 00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,559 You've successfully completed the program. 355 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:22,704 What? What? 356 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,532 We just found out, too! The whole thing was staged. 357 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,967 Noel dying, the uprising, all of it. 358 00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:32,769 Oh, that's what they meant on their website. 359 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:37,541 "Staged Revolution Marital Counseling." It all makes sense. 360 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,824 Yes, sorry to deceive you all, 361 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:45,093 but we find that when couples don't respond to traditional counseling, 362 00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,184 the stress of extreme danger reminds 363 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:49,331 them of what matters most in their lives, 364 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,655 their love for each other. 365 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:54,791 I feel like I should be mad, but I guess you're right. 366 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:58,428 Lois and I have never felt closer. And I did get to kill a guy. 367 00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:01,097 What? Thanks for everything, Noel. 368 00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:09,573 Well, kids, it's Dyngus Day. Here are your pussy willow branches. 369 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,375 Find your sweetie and give her a tap. 370 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,498 Looks like I found my sweetie. 371 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:18,649 Oh, sarsaparilla! I was going to take sister! 372 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,652 Hey, you little rats. All right, Lois. Let's just leave our bags here 373 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,199 and wonder where our clothes are for the next two days. 374 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:27,358 How was your trip, Father? We've prepared a song for you. 375 00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:28,492 Nope. 376 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,827 Oh. Boy, it's nice to be home. 377 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,497 Sure is, Lois. Now, shush. TV. 378 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,732 Television? How pathetic. 379 00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:41,305 Yeah. You know where the most interesting stuff is, Dad? The human hat. 380 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,474 - We now return to - Police Chases... 381 00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:46,910 No, thank you. We are a screen-free family. 382 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,379 That End in Fire. 383 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,448 Holy shit! That's awesome! 384 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:58,255 Nobody look at him, and maybe he'll just leave. 385 00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:01,825 Good job, people.